Month: February 2017

I Never Wanted to Be a Stay at Home Mom

As a kid, I pictured my adult self as a woman in a hot pink shoulder-padded business suit. My hair would be feathery and frosted, my practical yet stylish pumps would coordinate perfectly with my flashy jewelry. My briefcase would occasionally brush against my pantyhosed leg as I walked briskly down the city street to my next business meeting. I would be an Important Business Woman! (Can you tell I grew up in the 80’s?)

While I’ve always wanted to have kids, what I certainly didn’t want was to be a Stay at Home Mom. How boring! How un-glamorous! How very not “Having-it-all!” (more…)

The New Website

You’ve made it to the newer, shinier version of this blog (originally at babyoffcenter.wordpress.com). Weekly updates will resume next week.

As promised, here is my baby trying to figure out fruit:

Enjoy your weekend.

Problems at the Portland Women’s March

(It turns out I’m a shitty activist.)

The night before the Women’s March here in Portland, Oregon, I am stoked. I think, “I can’t wait to march for women’s rights!” I mean, I didn’t think I’d have to in my lifetime, but I am feeling the spirit of my feminist foremothers, for sure. Maybe something feels a little off about this excitement, but I ignore the feeling and work on my sign….

Read the full post on Medium

 

Diaper Change Merit Badges

Being a new parent can be a drag. If you’re a new mom or dad, you might be dealing with an identity crisis, rampaging hormones, a baby who… well… isn’t really that cool yet, and a monster where your spouse/partner/self used to be. Whatever version of new parent you are, you are probably dealing lots and lots of poop. And pee. And barf.

When I was dealing with the liquids of that first year, I longed for some sense of accomplishment every day. Some validation. Some way to show myself at the end of the day that yes, indeed I had been very busy all day even though I had no idea doing what. I soon realized that keeping checklists for myself of my accomplishments of the day helped a little.They looked like this:

To Doo List

Looking back, (more…)

Baby Off-Center — or — I’ll Probably Never Wear Clogs

Shortly after the birth of my son, I was surprised by how much of an identity crisis I had. When I was expecting the kid, my brother, neighbors, strangers told me, “No matter what, you won’t be ready!”  And yeah, they were right. But the metaphysical punch to the side of the head was still more shocking than I expected.

For instance, I understood that I might not get sleep. But the effects of long-term sleep deprivation? I had no clue. I didn’t understand that for months I would desperately long for an uninterrupted three-hour stretch of sleep. That, in the depths of tiredness, I would find myself wailing and lying on the living room floor and asking my husband to bring me something to eat, because I was too tired to get it myself. Then,when he brought me apple slices, I would cry even harder. Apple slices were so crunchy, and I was too tired to chew.

Crunchy apple slices
“Postpartum Me” faced with apple slices.

And I figured that my time would be taken up by caring for the baby, but I didn’t know that (more…)