Motherhood

New Mom? You Might Need Some New Friends.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky new moms whose friends all have babies. You visit each others’ houses, share childcare, and cry together over your latest breastfeeding/potty training/identity -crises. Your kids frolic together under rainbows while you enjoy pinterest-worthy dinners in your well-groomed backyards. Good for you.

If you’re not one of the lucky ones, you might instead be (more…)

I Never Wanted to Be a Stay at Home Mom

As a kid, I pictured my adult self as a woman in a hot pink shoulder-padded business suit. My hair would be feathery and frosted, my practical yet stylish pumps would coordinate perfectly with my flashy jewelry. My briefcase would occasionally brush against my pantyhosed leg as I walked briskly down the city street to my next business meeting. I would be an Important Business Woman! (Can you tell I grew up in the 80’s?)

While I’ve always wanted to have kids, what I certainly didn’t want was to be a Stay at Home Mom. How boring! How un-glamorous! How very not “Having-it-all!” (more…)

Diaper Change Merit Badges

Being a new parent can be a drag. If you’re a new mom or dad, you might be dealing with an identity crisis, rampaging hormones, a baby who… well… isn’t really that cool yet, and a monster where your spouse/partner/self used to be. Whatever version of new parent you are, you are probably dealing lots and lots of poop. And pee. And barf.

When I was dealing with the liquids of that first year, I longed for some sense of accomplishment every day. Some validation. Some way to show myself at the end of the day that yes, indeed I had been very busy all day even though I had no idea doing what. I soon realized that keeping checklists for myself of my accomplishments of the day helped a little.They looked like this:

To Doo List

Looking back, (more…)

Baby Off-Center — or — I’ll Probably Never Wear Clogs

Shortly after the birth of my son, I was surprised by how much of an identity crisis I had. When I was expecting the kid, my brother, neighbors, strangers told me, “No matter what, you won’t be ready!”  And yeah, they were right. But the metaphysical punch to the side of the head was still more shocking than I expected.

For instance, I understood that I might not get sleep. But the effects of long-term sleep deprivation? I had no clue. I didn’t understand that for months I would desperately long for an uninterrupted three-hour stretch of sleep. That, in the depths of tiredness, I would find myself wailing and lying on the living room floor and asking my husband to bring me something to eat, because I was too tired to get it myself. Then,when he brought me apple slices, I would cry even harder. Apple slices were so crunchy, and I was too tired to chew.

Crunchy apple slices
“Postpartum Me” faced with apple slices.

And I figured that my time would be taken up by caring for the baby, but I didn’t know that (more…)